Sunday, November 1, 2009

Divorce


Divorce rates in India are around 1% according to national statistics. Despite this, conventional wisdom here is that the amount of divorces are to rise, especially in urban areas. People blame this on the increasing westernization of urban areas in India, which I only halfway buy but I’ll save my thoughts on that for another day. I have been very open over here that my folks are divorced and have tried to use this take away some of the shame and stigma divorcees or children of divorcees might feel in this culture. Because I have been so free to talk about it, I have had several fascinating conversations with people about divorce, which is a very taboo topic over here. There have been several occasions where people that I hardly know have sought me out in private and asked about divorce (as they heard about me through the grapevine- news can travel very quick over here) and then told me confidentially that a divorce has happened either to a member of their families or to a close friend of theirs. It is nice to be able to comfort people and tell them that divorce can happen to good people and is not a reflection on them or anyone else. I am not ‘pro’ or ‘anti’ divorce but I know that it’s something that happens no matter where you are the world and it makes me feel good to be open about it and give people an outlet to talk about it.

3 comments:

  1. Yes....divorce can happen to good people also... need to change the attitude of the people towards the people who are undergoing this traumatic experience and on top of that face the admonishment of this society...too much to ask from good people around...

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  2. Thank you for your comments- I was a little uneasy with uploading this post so I really appreciate it. I think you're right on- it's tough enough on people without the extra burden of the stigma attached, especially over here. I hope talking about it will help it become something that's better understood by everyone. Again, I'm not pro or anti divorce, I just know that it happens, even to the best people

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  3. I like to talk on these topics, because majority of the time we do not have a bridge that connects between two views for the same cause. Regarding Divorce, I think it is becasue majority(95%) of the married indian population have stay-at-home moms. Divorce will be a worst option for them as they can't survive on their own (even they are educated). It is like bending a old grown tree, they are used to the life style of living in home, their mentality is a direct reflection of their parents. They can't (or don't want to work) work. Untill there are more working women in indian society, Divorse won't happen. Talking about Divorce means more trouble for indian women than for indian men. It is going to take generations together to wipe out that inborn culture. We are talking culture from billions of years.

    Just 2 cents of my thought....

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