Indian Fruit, Part One

Man, there is so much fruit here that I’ve never heard of. It’s totally boss! There are a bunch more I have yet to try but here’s the lowdown on three new (to me) ones I’ve had so far.

Jackfruit

I’ve seen these things growing on trees in Brazil but I never tried one. They can weigh up to 80 lbs and have been known to kill people when they fall out of the tree. From what I understand it’s minor surgery to actually get the fruit, you have to cut it 10 different ways to get through all the woody and starchy layers to the fruit. The pic I stole from the internet show it whole, cut open and then the fruit. As for the fruit itself-it kinda dry, it looks about the size of a slice of mandarin orange, but it’s way drier, the outside is almost fruit rollup consistency but it’s really sweet and kinda like a dryer pineapple. In other words- delicious! I’m not really describing it right but that’s the best I got!

Lychee

They kinda look like the shape and size of strawberries on the outside but the skin is inedible, like an orange rind- you peel it off to get to the white, fleshy and juicy inside (see pic). I’d compare it (kinda/sorta) to the consistency and taste of a grape, but again, that’s inadequate. They’re also supposed to be high in vitamin C, so they can help me stay healthy!

Muskmelon

Basically a cantaloupe but it has more seeds in the middle and its got a more spiky skin rather than the rough but non-spiky skin we see in the states. It might also be juicer but maybe I just had a really good one, so I’m not sure.

I like that all three of these fruits have an inedible outer layer, so that what you’re actually eating isn’t exposed to the elements and grossness of the outside world till you peel/cut it, I think this helps them be very friendly food to someone new to India!

OK, and they also are famous here for mangoes in all colors, flavors, shapes and sizes. I thought I knew my mangoes but I’ve never seen many of these varieties and they really are better here than any I’ve ever had before, but I think I’ll save that for another post. It’ll be a good excuse to go on an all-mango diet for a while!

Tamil Lesson #1

Vanakkam= Hello
Nandri= Thank You
Meesai Annkaluku Azhaku= Mustache is the Beauty of Men

I wonder if it's about time to shave the beard and keep the 'stache!

Getting Entertained- 80's Bollywood Style

I saw this in a movie on TV the other day and thought it was hilarious. The actual jam is good too, it's been in my head ever since (jiski biwi lambi, usska bhi bara nam hai). It's about the advantages of having a wife with particular attributes. His insights (translated loosley):
* If you have a tall wife, why would you need a ladder?
* If you have a fat wife, why would you need a mattress?
* If you have a dark wife in your eyes, why would you need mascara?
* If you have a fair wife, why would you need electricity?
* If you have a short wife, why would you need a child?


Offensive? Probably, but the song and dance is great and it's a funny idea. I'm curious to know what you think!

Best View of Indian Traffic I've Seen

This video should give you a good idea of what traffic is like here- I have no idea how it works but somehow it does- people are able to make that turn without getting hit. I think it's cliche to say but traffic IS a game of chicken over here. I've driven some challenging places, like Dublin, Santiago and NYC but I really don't think I could handle this driving here! I have a lot to learn but at least I have five more months to try and wrap my brain around it.

Rickshaws/Three Wheelers/Tuk Tuks

A couple thoughts about these things: These guys are about as talented as a driver can be, they can fit into super tight spots (between two huge buses or SUVs for example), dodge oncoming/ crossing traffic and somehow get you where you’re going without killing you. This is a truly amazing feat because there is not really any structure to them, just some sheet metal, three wheels and a scooter engine. I had one take a offramp the wrong way the other day. I was like 'what are you doing' as we approached an oncoming bus and he was all like 'shortcut sir, shortcut' but somehow squeezed between the bus and jersey wall. One crappy thing is that Chennai is the only city that doesn’t enforce them having meters, so you have to haggle every time you want a ride. This can be a pain but if you say your price and walk away, they’ll usually pull up alongside you and tell you to get in. I’ve been paying about 200 rupees (US $4.00) for a 40 minute rick ride to the other side of town but the locals tell me I’m still overpaying. Another bad thing about them is that because there are no doors, you are exposed to all the pollution that the Indian roadways have to offer, which is A LOT, especially with buses and plenty of motorcycles that are spewing thick smoke. Other than that, I love ‘em, it’s cheap and an adventure every time, I always get out feeling lucky to be alive. I’m gonna sweet talk a driver to let me drive one late night one of these days when there’s no traffic- I gotta give it a try! Here’s a word of caution if you are to try one though:

DO NOT PUT ANY BODY PART OUTSIDE OF YOUR VEHICLE

The margins are so tight here as I said that it is extremely dangerous to have any part of your body outside of your car or rick. I had an elbow out of the rick a couple days back and my colleague told me how bad of an idea it was. Not two minutes later we came within what seemed like millimeters of a bus, I’m glad he said something. Then, this week, I was in a rick and had one foot slightly out of the side, maybe just an inch. We were stopped at a light and along came a motorcycle and his foot actually touched mine. Not a big deal but I gotta remember keep my extremities in the vehicle at all times! Don’t they tell you that when you’re getting on a roller coaster???

8055 (BOSS) License Plates

So, here in India you can’t have vanity plates like we do in the States what with all the cutesey seven or eight letter things that people think are clever. Some of my faves from back home include:

The sexy ones- HEYBEYB
The 'I drive like a jerk' ones- UINZWAY, EATMYDST
The big ego and small other parts ones- THA MAN, 2RICH4U
The sassy ones- XMYGRITZ
And my personal fave- LCNSPL8
You guys seen any good ones lately?

In India you can for an extra charge choose the numbers on your plate. In addition, plates aren’t issued by the government, just the number, so then you go to a private place and have them make up your plate. Because of this, I’ve seen a lot of folks on the road sporting the 8055, and putting it a font to make it look like BOSS. My favorite is the digital readout one, but my pic didn't come out so I stole that from the internet- propers to the boss took it originally. I gotta say it’s a pretty good and clever way to beat the system. I might even be tempted to call it boss. Why doesn't anyone call things boss anymore? Did they ever? People that call things boss are totally boss in my opinion. Boss Stadter out.

Weekend Presentation in Pune

I was way nervous all this week because I had my first major presentation to 200+ government officials in Pune, a large city about 3 hrs east of Mumbai. I’ve been working all week on the presentation, trying to instill knowledge I’ve gained in my last 8 years working in the US to Indian police and transportation officials, as well as promote the work my current company is doing over there. I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to say but I needed to tweak it so that is was more accessible to an Indian audience. Luckily, I had tons of help and advice from my two Indian co-workers. In addition, I was able to give a dry run of the presentation on Friday before I left to many members of the IT company I’m sharing office space with.
I have to admit I wasn’t on my A-game when I made it to Pune on Sat. I had a 415 flight so I had to wake up at 3AM, and I wasn’t asleep till after midnight (story for another day). However, I was happy to be there, Pune is a beautiful town at the base of the Western Ghats, full of hills, greenery, and much cooler and less humid temps. Lots of coffee (first time I found black coffee too) and being somewhere new was enough awake and energized.
I got to the conference, at a big government facility there and I saw that everyone was wearing turbans in a style native to the state I was in, Maharashtra. I was kinda envious that everyone else was getting to wear them until one of the conference organizers approached me and said it would be an honor if I wore one. Putting it on is very complex- it’s one big piece of fabric that is wound in a very particular way, it took probably two minutes for the guy to wrap it, but I was really excited to show some respect for the culture, plus it kept my nervous forehead sweat out of my face.
It was also cool to see how a conference starts over there, first there was a ceremonial lighting of a fire by the top officials and a blessing, and then gifts were given to the presenters to much fanfare, with clapping and pictures after each gift was given. They called me up, and I was a little surprised, and was given flowers and a traditional scarf but I was so nervous I took and tried to get off the stage immediately, they had to get me back on stage so that pictures could be taken of me receiving the gifts. At least I know for next time…
The actual presentation was well received and I got to have many side discussions afterward about road safety with people, I learned a lot and from their perspectives and also think I was able to teach them some things as well. The biggest complaint was how thick my accent was- it’s still new to me that I’m the one with the strange accent!
Afterwards was a blast too, everyone went to a place on the outskirts of town, all 200 or so of us (all men). We were at an outdoor complex on a beautiful night and had an open bar and food, and there was live singing and dancing from a troupe that was traditional to Maharashtra. About 10 women dancers, a bunch of drums and Indian instruments, several singers (the singing is absolutely beautiful) and a team of two comedians dressed up like police doing a bit in between some songs with a midget. It was great to unwind after the stressful day and get some culture too, people told me it’s very rare for a westerner to see this side of their culture, all men from all over the country getting together and relaxing after working hard all day. The conference participants also put the band to work playing their favorite songs while conference participants got on stage and sung the songs while many others danced with each other around them. It was so different and new to me and so much fun! Plus, lots of delicious food and beer! I was way impressed how some of the toughest guys there were the best singers and dancers! I made it back to Chennai safe tonight and am back working tomorrow, but I won’t complain about working this weekend because I had a fantastic time! XOXOXO
Greg

Nuff Said.

Sometimes a internet screenshot is worth a thousand words. I went through two sweatrags today. Still having a great time and excited to cool off this weekend in Pune, which is at a higher elevation near Mumbai and the Ghats. I swear I will never complain about DC heat and humidity again.

Lunch at the Office

Lunch at my office building is a highlight every day. It’s a huge 10 story building and the top floor is dedicated as a cafeteria of sorts, except each office has their own cook that makes meals for that particular company. Since my work is just three people right now, including me, we share a huge office space with an IT company with about 60 people. Every day around one, we call go up to the 10th floor and get our lunch. It’s always all vegetarian because most people in south India are veg and there are always 3-4 dishes, bread and rice, and it’s all served on a platter with a big leaf over top, for easier cleanup. It’s really neat and different (to me, normal to them), the company eats together which is a kind of team building thing, and people in the IT company have been telling my coworkers how much they like that I come. They’ve had some westerners visit over the years for a couple month and none of them ate lunch with the company, apparently. I like the idea of fitting it, but I’m also in it for the food, it’s free and delicious! I’m still getting used to eating it with just my right hand without making a huge mess and I’m learning how to break the bread with one hand but I’m getting better day by day. Who knows, at this rate I might never use silverware again! I can imagine sitting down to a fancy steak or spaghetti dinner and scarfing it down just with my right hand- who wants to dine with me when I get back??? Love, Greg.

Getting the Hang O' Thangs

I’m feeling more competent here day by day. I’ve taken the bus by myself several times now and am getting familiar with the routes. The 70 runs north-south and the 26 runs east-west. I also know what times of day it’s less crowded than others and am planning accordingly. Also, I had my first train ride on Saturday when my co worker took me to an outside bazzar right next to a mall. Talk about old and new on top of each other! On the way there the train was way crowded, we let two trains pass us by before we got on the third one because we didn’t want to be hanging off the side like many others were doing. It’s kinda like the Metro- going into DC from Bethesda is crowded in the morning. But, it made a nice ride back because the train was about empty (the equivalent of DC to Bethesda in the morning)! I needed a nice suit for a presentation I have next Saturday and I got a really nice one tailored for about 80 bucks! Not bad. I’ve been watching haggling take place and think I’m getting that too! The market itself was wild, lots of people, sights and sounds and it felt like all the stereotypes you hear about India rolled into one. I’m starting to ‘get it’ and really like it here, work’s going well, I’m learning the customs and culture, a little Tamil, and feel comfortable going out and about on my own. I think I’m going to take an autorickshaw (3 wheeler) today to an expat hangout, it should require some haggling with the driver but I’m feeling up to it. In general the people here are so friendly and nice and don’t seem to bat an eye at a westerner in their mix, even though I have yet to see another one the entire time I’ve been here. I guess I feel like I’m fitting in the best I can and that’s making everything here better!

First couple days

I must admit it's been a roller coaster the first couple days. I started pretty down, jetlagged, in a strange place with a strange culture and not really knowing anyone. I was missing my family and friends and really felt distant from everything I know and love. To make matters worse, spending a week in the bay area was really eye opening, I was thinking that would be a place I'd love to live and then I was torn away from that into something completely new and crazy.

I took public transporation to work all this week, at first it was overwhelming and quite a, well, shitshow, complete with people hanging off the bus, so cramped, and so sweaty. BUT, at least everyone here carries around a towel to dry the sweat off- as most of you know I can get TOTALLY down with that, what with my forehead sweat and all. I like the idea of doing things as the locals do but it will take some getting used to packing in an un A/Ced bus like sardines.

As for work- I was struggling last night, my first office day was pretty lame and I felt loneley. Then things started to turn around dramatically Friday. I've started getting used to the bus, starting to say hi to the other people in my office and trying to learn names (I share an office with about 50 workers for an IT company), am learning how to properly use the bidet (see pic), getting the hang of eating indian style (with my hands- the cafeteria at work puts indian food and rice onto a plate with a leaf on it and I'm figuring out the routine, how to rip up naan with 1 hand since I can't use my left/poo hand, where to throw my leaf afterward and wash my plate), etc. Then, I had a great meeting with one of the commisioners of police- he seemed extremely interested by me and my experiences in the States. He is very intelligent and we even waxed statistics and study design and at the end of the three hour meeting I was able to break new ground with him for cooperation with his department to start researching crashes. We also had a heart to heart about how bad crashes are over here and how much there is we can do. To boot, on the way out he called in about 30 cops and gave a glowing speech about me and how I'm going to help make things safer, then I said a few words and ended with saying Nandri (thanks in Tamil), and that brought the house down- they all started clapping and then saluting! Now I feel very optomisitic, the project I came here to do is starting to get rolling and I'm starting to feel useful, even important. Plus, I'm getting the hang of this new place!

I have yet to find a place with beer, but maybe that's a good thing, this place makes me feel drunk or at least discombobulated in that way (Chennai is a pretty conservative part of India from what I gather). Plus, you really need your wits about you to try and cross the road and dodge all the buses, cars, trucks, three wheelers, motorcycles, etc that are always inches away from you. That's all the ramblings I have in me for now, much love to everyone!

Greg

Arrived Alive!

I made it! I left San Francisco around 430 PM on Monday and with a 2 hour layover in London I arrived in Chennai at 4 AM Wednesday. After arriving I made it through customs, where I was suspected of carrying swine flu because I was coming from the US but after filling out a lengthy questionnaire I as admitted and made it through the airport. My first steps outside the airport were a shock- it was 445 AM and I hadn’t experienced heat like what I was feeling in a while- it felt like midday in DC in August! Apparently last week it made it to 104 degrees with 95% humidity- ouch! On top of that there was an overwhelming bunch of people as soon as I left the airport, quite an intimidating scene (see pic). I found the guy holding a Greg sign in the crowd and made my way to the car and had a 15 minute ride to my flat. I was prepared for it but the driving was crazy, we avoided a cow and had a couple close calls as my driver went into oncoming traffic to pass slower vehicles. Luckily, he won’t be my full-time driver. Then, got here and one of my co-workers was waiting for me. He is really nice, a younger guy that seems very curious and intelligent, I think we’ll get along fine (he’s also my roommate for now). He was excited that he found Corn Flakes at the grocery store and offered me a bowl for breakfast, saying he was trying to make me feel at home. I was exhausted though so I just crashed and had him and my other co-worker come back around 2 for a late lunch. This time, they showed up with some personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut- they’re trying! Since then we’ve been talking work and life, and they took me for some delicious Indian food and I got my first taste of being a pedestrian on the streets- no sidewalks, just lots of motorcycles, cars, buses and bodies. Pretty frightening but I think my job makes me over think all this kind of stuff... Anyways, that’s my quick update, I gotta crash early tonight, after some Indian food with coworkers. Plenty more to come!

Greg

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